Still losing, still in the box...

But it isn't always easy.

I'm recognizing moments that when I was on previous weight loss attempts I would say 'the hell with it" and go through a drive-thru.

I have done a lot of secret eating in the car in my past.  The trick is getting rid of the evidence before you get home.

So disordered.  I've never purged, but I have definitely binged and hidden the evidence in the past.

A struggle right now is missing textures.

I am not a Taco Bell fan, but I would go through the drive-thru, get two Crunchwrap Supremes, and maybe a bean burrito.  It's all about contrast.  Crunchwraps have a tostada shell with beans, meat, cheese sauce and lettuce wrapped up in a tortilla (folded like an old-timey change purse) and grilled.  Hot, smooth, crunchy, melty, saucey.  The bean burrito is this hot melted mass of refried beans with cheese, sauce and little crunchy bits of onion.  I don't know why, but does call to me sometimes.

The only thing I like at McDonalds is the classic McChicken sandwich.  At $1, you feel you can justify it, "It's only a buck!". Crispy fried chicken, soft white bunch, warm mayonnaise and shredded lettuce that usually falls out while you are eating in the car.

Burgerville has lots of good stuff, but the go-to is the small cheeseburger.  The Burgerville sauce is what makes it special.  Again, soft bun, good bite-feel burger and warm secret sauce and ketchup.  You have to sort of suck the sauce out of the burger before you take a bite, or it will be all over you and that isn't very stealthy is it?

Taco Times are few and far between.  It was somewhere that I went with my Mom while I was growing up, so it is more nostalgia than taste.  The deep fried bean burritos only have crunch going for them.  Man they hit your stomach like concrete.  I would always order the Taco Burger, which is taco meat, cheese and lettuce on a bun.  The mexi-fries are just tator tots, but I haven't met many tator tots that I  don't like.

I realize that eating these foods are not going to be much in my life once I start eating real foods again.  I would hope say that they are never going to be, but that is just setting myself up for failure.  I think it is more that if I eat these foods it will be because I decide to eat them and recognize their impact on my intake for that day, rather than mindless, impulse, crazy binge eating in my car.

I can do without that soul-crushing activity ever again.